BY LOOKING BACK AND BY SEARCHING OUR INNER SELF ( WE CAN MAKE BETTER DECISSIONS + even the misfortune can be altered thru positive thoughts)

      

       EXPEREINCE IS THE BEST Teacher, but not many learn thru mistakes. One need to be on their own and in Isolation for sometime or for several days without any ones interruption, to recall and to correct our mistakes if we hv been feeling not secure. A lady told me once, that Nothing in her life as she wished, or as she liked, everything was design by her family members without asking her intention or her view. She  said she was not given choice in anything in her life, either pursuing studies, her future matters, choice of life partner , choice to pursue  studies , freedom to decide what she likes to do or what she intent to do for her future.

    Her disappointments were increasing frm day to day, but she kept her self-busy, according to her she wished only one thing in her life since small. Thats pursuing higher education and learn life long. as she was nearing 21. Her family especially her married sisters n brothers started to find her life partner. She has no choice but accept their choice when too much Sentiment and Emotional scenes were created by her older siblings. Another reason she kept silent without going against the older siblings wish was, with hope she could pursue her dreams and ambitions when being away from her own older siblings.

       Misfortune, disappointments, depression and being helpless most of the times , almost everydday, being left alone all by her self, by the person who married her. She cried and cried everyday till the man who married her came home on his own timing, at 2 am, 3 am , at times 1,30 midnight. hardly inform the wife about his absence or outing. All she had with her was her young children and God , with whom she poured her miseries thru cries and sobbing. when ever she missed the man she married or getting angry with his not bothered attitude, she takes out her wedding album and her engagement albums and started to see one by one each photos, while her young children were sleeping. she comfort her self all by her self saying to her self, everything will be fine, her hubby  will be back home. for almost 20 years she was going thru  the same life, n her children grew up in that misery and misfortune seeing their mother crying daily, in the absence of their father, who almost daily come home when they were sleeping. Even in her absence while pursuing higher degree, her children went thru the same situation she was expereincing, the absence of their fatehr in the house. when the mother call the children and asked them if they had dinner, the children tell her their father not back home and no food in the house, on weekedn when she comes home, she brings various types of food and grocery she carries with her , which she bought frm whole sale marts , after her last lecture and frm a wholesae market at \kl Bangsar. very week , when coming home, this mothers carried loads of food in plastic bags for her children, so they will always hv food in the house and they can prepare tyhe meals as they like.

        Being a helpless mother in the presence of a father, who being self centered and not bothered about home  is a misery according to this mother, who still lives with hopes and appreciate little and basic needs in daily life. A Mother who being her self and never comapare herself with any one, she tells that every one has their life and everyone is uniques in their own way. some might be blessed and few might be living blast life for surrendering their life to the older ones. Nothing to regret and nothing to Compare or to complain according to this mother who has been given responsibilities since very young.